What I exactly a Dutiful Daughter? Not much, I think. And yet, here I am again struck in reading the memoirs of Simone de Beauvoir: I find strange similarities, the paths of reason and common thought. I was particularly struck by this passage, reproduced below, where she talks about her expectations of "love" or rather, his anticipation of future hypothetical relationship with a spouse. I felt a little hurt and ridicule of his sincerity to the admission of what she describes, and I must admit having long regarded as an ideal: the need for greater joint .
Although I think I always (always, and even before my coming-out pseudo-feminist) advocated such a desire, read it in black and white made me realize the significance it had long had, until very recently.
Denying this desire of superiority (Even more since, reading books such as male domination would amount to admit that I am an average woman reproducing without critical consciousness, or recognizing and desiring persistent inequality between the sexes) I never really took the time to wonder about why such a desire.
Reasons Simone I agree in part, as I often say, it will always took more effort and perseverance of a woman to achieve a valued social position whatsoever, and the relative ease with dispose men are equal is that, by Of necessity, a superior. A similar top and I am also touched by the concept of sharing and similarity suggests that, because I see it, and it still things this way, although more widely: it is not without a lasting relationship strong fundamental base and common. I am no longer a long-standing supporter of "love fell from the sky." Besides, I do not consider this to be applicable only to the couple "in love" but the prerequisite for any intense relationship, and I said, sustainable.
This explanation grabbed me by its simplicity, telling me my total lack of reflection about it. That said, I do not think my relationship with my parents have influenced in the same manner as she described the intimate thoughts and this differentiated genesis seems to be even more meaningful: even though there is nothing concrete , a tangible sign of gender difference in education and family background, we all - I do not think this is just Simone and me - a profound intuition of this persistent inequality, and we are living with this always to some extent, even when we revolt.
Finally, if I tell myself recently emancipated This vision, this is not that I've adjusted more, is that I was forced to reconsider ways of relating socially available. And understand that the couple was something very small, very far from the ideal relationship, necessarily vague, that I see as a desperate search, but permanent. And therefore also the notion of superiority / inferiority which remains attached to this model binary and heterosexual. And also because I learned, gradually, that nobody is above or below, when a certain popular moves close really between people.
But anyway, Simone remains a sacred discovery each time.
"I wanted that between husband and wife everything was pooled and each was to perform in front of another, exact role of witness that I once attributed to God. This excluded that we liked someone different : I do not get married unless I meet, the more accomplished than me, like my double.
Why I claimed that I was superior? I do not believe at all that I sought him as a substitute My father and I wanted my independence; My profession, I would write, I have a personal life, I do not m'envisageai as the companion of a man we would be two companions. However, the idea that I had of our relationship was indirectly influenced by the feelings that I brought to my father. My education, my culture, and vision of society, as it was, convinced me that women belong to a lower caste (...); prestige father had fortified this view: it is partly about her that I melted my requirement. Member of a preferred species, enjoying the start of a big lead, though in absolute terms was not worth a man older than me, I would consider that, relatively, it was worth less: to recognize it as my equal, he would have me dépassât ".
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